so i was just going through old emails and i came across this letter harrison wrote me in march 2011 after we broke up for the first time. currently bawling my eyes out. this made me realize how much we’ve been through and how crazy it is to be in love. mark my words you never ever ever ever forget your first love. im so thankful that we’ve been able to overcome the bullshit and be together and in a good place. seriously the sweetest thing anyone has and probably ever will say to me. long story short, my heart is literally breaking with love right now.
Hey Kirsten it’s Harrison,
I figured the lot of this would be easier to say through a letter type thing.
I just want to tell you that i may act nonchalant about whats happening like i dont care or w/e, but the true is its taken me a long time to get over this. I know i said we’d talk on Monday, and I will, but if things fly off the handle i was hoping to get how i honestly feel across first. A lot of thought and tons more pain is how i came to a conclusion like this. I cant and probably wont be able to explain why truthfuly.
Under no circumstances do i want us to think this ended bad and until each of us get closer we hate each other. We will be friends but its hard for me as i am sure its hard for you to right now. But what will make it easier is me telling you, dont forget about me, I will really always love you, you taught me how to love someone the right way and what it actually meant. That’s special to me very much and so are you. In a way i couldn’t dream of more, i wouldnt really need to ask for much else cept’ for your love the way it was when we peaked with each other. Heh, im gigglin’ to myself thinking about past times together, very wholesome, lots of guilty pleasures, lots of smiles, emotions run wild like free range mustangs. But life is different now, its time for work.
I still think of you daily and will for a good while, often accompanied by those thoughts are hopes that you are doing the same thing right at that very moment. That’s what i want, for fucks sake we were high school sweethearts on some real talk type shit, hahaha. Wherever you are, and wherever the wind takes me, you’ll be in my heart, you never actually moved out. Just promise you’ll learn from our mistakes and you wont accept a man less than par, if i see you with a guy in the future i dont want him to be some stupid looking pothead alcoholic slouch, i want him to be smarter, a better athlete and have more money than me hah, so at least you learned something. I just think you deserve to be treated right instead of being used. A godblessed californian amber sunrise atop a hill of red roses and dandilions isnt as beautiful as you when you’re at your happiest, and i’d be a fool n’ a liar if i i said I got over that, heh, and if i ever forgot that.
I hope i can inspire you to do great things in your future, by god i always knew you had good intentions, i swear i did, thats why i stuck with you.
I think of you when i wake
I think of you when i bed
I cant get this crazy girl
out of my head
My love and passion burns extra strong
i get cloes to her, so warm and snug
almost to the point, where nothing is wron
but no matter nothing cause shes by my side
so sweet darlin give me a hug
and ill close this letter with my heart open wide
nothin professional, Njoy’ :)
““Last Wish” (Chernobyl, 1986)
You bury me in concrete. Bury me
in lead. Rather I was buried
with a bullet in the head.
You seal me in powder. Cut the hair
last. Then take the trimmings
and seal them in glass.
You wrap me in plastic. Wash me
in foam. Weld the box airless.
For each tomb’s hidden a green
soldier turns. Nothing decomposes.
Nothing for worms.
A buckle. A pencil. Break one thing
I left. Give some small part of me
- Mario Petrucci (via oneminorityofone)